Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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