if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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