i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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