Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.

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(585): View more from New York

just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?

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(714): View more from California

She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.

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(254): View more from Texas

Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.

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(813): View more from Florida

He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?

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