"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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