8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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