maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize