I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
