Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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