my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
