So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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