Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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