we have officially lost it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My feet surprised me
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