I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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