Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
