Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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