Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
