Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
That's when you crack a 10am beer
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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