i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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