I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
