oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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