did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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