puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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