lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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