I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
