she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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