Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
