how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
