I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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