I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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