i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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