I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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