the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
