Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
