A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I look better un-naked...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
