I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
