I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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