im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
