I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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