weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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