Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
