yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
