She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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