happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
