I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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