It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
