Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
