i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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