Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
