There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
