i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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