I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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