Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you would pick up someone in the library
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
