I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
