Screwed.edu
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
