I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
