Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
