That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize