Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
