Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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