what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
