WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
