I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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