I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
