i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
