either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
