I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
