do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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